My beloved dog

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Mauveduh
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My beloved dog

Post by Mauveduh » Wed Dec 11, 2013 8:43 pm

Last night I didn't know that it would be the last time I saw my best friend and partner, my little dog. He kept me company each day. He jumped on my lap every time he saw an opportunity and watched my every move, waiting for nothing more than attention and love, and I should mention some food treats.

We walked on the beach daily. That was his favorite part of the day and he lived for it. If we missed a day, he would be ready to pounce if I got my shoes or purse, and would run to the door to make sure he didn't miss anything. Then he would pout a bit, but in the most adorable way.

I hurt my foot and missed a couple of days. But on the third day, I got it together and took him for a short walk and limped along so he could feel that freedom and joy of greeting the other dogs and sniffing everything in sight. When he saw a dog, he would start whining and get so excited to greet them.

Everyone who encountered him was enchanted with his looks and demeanor. He was the most unique looking dog, with a shock of white hair on his head that blew wildly in the wind, contrasting his little black body. He weighed less than five pounds. And he had the most gentle nature and keen intellect that I've ever seen.

I looked at his eyes last night and he looked back at mine and we connected one last time. He went out the door and disappeared, never to be seen again. I looked all night, combing the bushes and the neighborhood, searching everywhere. The neighbor said he heard coyotes nearby. I can only surmise that he was overtaken by an animal. He wouldn't leave of his own will and he would make it home. I sat up all night just in case, so I could let him in if he came to the door.

I will never forget the joy he brought me. I marveled at my luck each day that he found his way to me in the first place. He was an angel in my mind.
I was so happy we got that last walk and he could do his favorite thing in the world on his last day. I will never forget him... RIP....
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Re: Pet Loss Grief

Post by Mauveduh » Wed Dec 18, 2013 10:24 am

I am surprised at the intensity of grief that I've felt for the loss of my pet. Surely it must pale in comparison to those who lose a human, but not necessarily so. It's like being in an alternate universe. Can't function. Can't think. Everything I see reminds me of something my dog did. Nothing tastes the same or smells the same. The sweetness is gone... for now anyway.

What is it that makes us so attached to our pets, dogs in particular? They love us unconditionally. We are their world. They depend on us for their survival. They keep us company when no one else is there. They greet us with such vigor when we get home like we've been gone for years, even when it's only been 10 minutes.

This little creature made me laugh every single day at some quirky thing he did, even if it was just a look on his face or blissfully running in circles after his bath, thrilled that it was over. They find such joy in the smallest things and it reminds us to do the same.

I woke up this morning and realized that I wake up differently. Now instead of reaching to pat my dog's little head and watch him slowly stretch and yawn to happily greet the day, I wake up with the dreaded feeling that it's reality and it wasn't just a nightmare that took him away so suddenly.

So I looked up some resources for pet loss grief to see how to handle it, since I wasn't doing a very good job, it seemed.

The first piece of advice jumped out at me. "Don't try to find another pet that looks like your previous one." It will only encourage comparison.

That's just what I've been doing. I've been obsessed with looking online for my little mutt, trying to find his clone at every rescue organization in the country. Of course, he is not there. But that's how I've coped with my nights without him. I try to find him. Since he was no particular breed, possibly five pounds of Yorkie, a bit of Chihuahua, maybe poodle? Who knows. He was unique and I have to face the fact that I won't find my pet and he won't have that same personality that won me over and I need to move on. That's the new challenge.
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Monkeygirl
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Re: My beloved dog

Post by Monkeygirl » Wed Dec 18, 2013 8:48 pm

I'm so sorry about your little guy. We lost our dog almost a year ago and it does get easier.

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