Can Talking Raise Your Self-Esteem?

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Can Talking Raise Your Self-Esteem?

Post by Mauveduh » Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:02 pm

Can talking raise your self esteem?
Or “Human Behavior Science for Dummies”.

This looks long but don't let it scare you. You can scan the statistics which is a big part. Be brave. Read on.

What can we say about the theory that talking can raise your self-esteem? It seems that saying anything at all may very well be the best therapy for your self worth.

And not only will chatting away boost your confidence, doing it sequentially in a pattern, while gesturing simultaneously, will be of optimal benefit, according to a study on self-esteem and personality dimensions of extraversion called, Relationship Between Self-Esteem, Personality Dimensions of Extraversion and Real-Time Patterning of Social Interaction. (Jonsson, 1998; Magnusson, e.g., 1983, 1988, 1996, 2000).

That’s a mouthful in itself and I figure I probably raised my self-esteem 4 points just by saying it. If I say it again, I will have a pattern going, though I’m not sure if anyone will listen if I keep repeating myself. They may, in fact, walk away and negate my positive points gained. I could end up with a deficit of self-esteem if I’m not careful.

Ever wonder how they measure this stuff? Maybe you don’t but you will get a glimpse and gain some invaluable insight to read between the lines and see the real meanings in these studies as things may not always be as they seem.

OK, here the deal. Hang in here with me for a couple of paragraphs and you may actually find a little perverse enjoyment in a subject that, on the surface, looks dry and mundane. It can actually be fun.

I will offer the straight talk interpretation that you may feel: but are afraid to say, after presenting those….yawn…..statistics and findings. Read on.

They tested participants with high and medium self-esteem. How did they determine their self esteem levels? I’m going to keep this short so you can check out something called the Eysenck Personality Questionnaire, if you are interested. That’s how they measured it.

Lets establish the benchmark of all behavior patterns. This study found that relative to our benchmark:
· the proportion of different patterns correlated with self-esteem
o (r = .66; p < .05).
· In addition the proportion of pattern occurrences also correlated positively in kind.
o (r = .67; p < .05).

High self esteemers:
· Provided more verbal events
· Hesitated less during speech
· Looked more frequently at their partner
· Held glances longer
· Talked for a greater pecentage of time


Synopsis: This indicates that behavior emitted by subjects with high self-esteem was more patterned than the behavior of those with moderate self-esteem

:cool: Interpretation: High self-esteemed individuals are legends in their own mind. They carried on endlessly about nothing just to hear themselves talk.

Researchers detected a brief pause and a blue cast to the skin occuring every 2,000 words due to lack of oxygen from not inhaling. The break in the seemingly uninterrupted verbal bombardment so shocked the researches, with that deafening fraction of a second of silence, that it had to be identified: and was interpreted as a pattern.

The chatter resumed like clockwork with the fervor and persistence of an unwelcomed insect buzzing your face as you sleep in on a Sunday morning. The unrelenting pace set by the esteemed speakers was to be sure they would not be interrupted. The high self-esteemed group also glared at their victim in a threatening manner to ensure the focus of attention remain solely on themselves.


So, I’m practicing right now. I’m talking to my computer, who remains mute, just as I like it.

Extraverts (Individuals who scored high on EPQ) participated more frequently in detected patterns than those who scored low on the EPQ (introverts).
· produced longer patterns
· included gesticulation (not more than introverts)
· increased frequency of events

Introverts on the other hand seemed to participate in a larger variety of pattern types.
· produced more patterns
· included gestural adaptations (adjusting cloths, hair, etc.)
· certain types of verbal patterns (ask & answer)
· looked less at their partner
· shorter glances
· talked for a lesser percentage of the time


Synopsis: Overall there was no difference detected in number of different types of behavior emitted by intro- and extraverts, but the frequency of events emitted was higher for extraverts.

:cool: Interpretation: The introverts were actually misinterpreted as having lower self-esteem due to the fact that they wanted to chew off their right arm to get away from the verbal assault of the extrovert holding on to it. This was misconstrued as self-defacement.

Introverts produced more patterns out of self preservation, trying to divert the attention of the extrovert and get some Pilates stretches in, because they were getting stiff from the catatonic lack of movement.


The gestural adaptations of introverts were manifested as a survival tactic to keep them awake and included: face slapping, twisting hair, rolling eyes, adjusting themselves and even accidental thigh-jabbing with a fingernail file because they had lost the feeling in their legs.

The verbal patterns (ask & answer) were really just answers that included yes or no so they would encourage no further conversation.

I think it is obvious why the introverts talked less when there was no opportunity for interjection. They had shorter glances because they had mentally astral-projected to another dimension in time: just as a multiple-personality emerges as the senses are overloaded with stimuli that exceeds the threshold of capacity.


Introverts with:

· high self-esteem
o higher proportion of detected patterns
o (EPQ scores ≤ 6, RSE scores 31-40)

· moderate self-esteem
o lower proportion of detected patterns
o (EPQ scores ≤ 6, RSE scores 21-30) (t = -9.8; df = 9; p < .001)

Extraverts with

· high self-esteem
o higher proportion of detected patterns
o (EPQ scores ≥ 7, RSE scores 31-40)

· moderate self-esteem
o lower proportion of detected patterns
o (EPQ scores ≥ 7, RSE scores 21-30) (t = -4.9; df = 35; p < .001)


Synopsis: Pattern occurrences were higher where both individuals scored high on the self-esteem scale than in mixed (high vs. mod. self-esteem). Both “high self-esteem” and “extravert” produced on average longer patterns than mixed.

:cool: Interpretation: Duh! Extrovert + high self-esteem = more talking going on and it won’t stop – Introverts with misdiagnosed low self-esteem running away as fast as possible. That’s why the detected patterns and occurrences were shorter. I bet they couldn’t detect them at all! They ran away! Hello!

Ok, we will wrap it up.

Summary: The results indicate a strong relation between self-esteem, personality and complexity and frequency of behavioral patterns. Certain patterns were found exclusively to be produced by extraverts and introverts, and others by high and moderate self-esteem subjects.

How can the difference between introverts and extraverts, and high and moderate self-esteem subjects, described in the results, be explained?

“Self-esteem is a concept that describes a general feeling of one’s own worth.”

Extraverts and high self-esteem individuals
· might also be the “time giver”,
· provide stimulus the other person has to synchronize his behavior with.
· control pattern production

Functions of syncroninization:
· result in a higher degree of mutual understanding
· indicator of compatibility in interactions

:cool: Interpretation: The key to self-esteem seems to be the ability to believe in yourself and your personal vision, despite the differing opinions and value systems of your peers, who may really have hidden agendas in their reasoning.

That would not include being blind to the reactions and opinions of others, but to hear another side. The exchange of ideas and communication elevates self-esteem if we are to take this study to heart.

Tolerance indicates that you are not driven by fear and shows a security in who you are. True self-esteem is being comfortable with diversity and adaptable to change. These are also the behavioral factors associated with self-fulfillment and success.
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Post by webwriter » Sun Mar 28, 2004 2:34 am

I think that the whole key is in believing in yourself. Then you can do just about anything once you have made up your mind, including consoling and encouraging yourself when everything seems to be going downhill. It also helps to find humor in a situation. When I lost that college job because of a stupid department chair, I did feel badly for a very short time, then made up my mind to do much better and move on. During that time, I found a book that had a joke about such bosses and nearly laughed my head off and shared it with a trusted coworker. I will also be glad to include it if you like. Another way I boosted myself and my self esteem was by playing Gloria Gaynor's song, "I Will Survive." It worked wonders. I am only sorry that I did not start looking for better things sooner.

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