Thinking of mom

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naynay
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Thinking of mom

Post by naynay » Sat May 08, 2004 11:28 pm

I am missing my mom so bad right now. My fond mememories, my grief, and my tears are random. They don't neccessarily come on Mother's Day, or Christmas, or her birthday. They are not on any automated schedule whatsoever.

However, I just took a late shower (unusual for me) and started singing one of her favorite hymns...and oh boy...the tears came first, then he sobbing. I opened the flood gates and cried my heart out. My mom has been gone for 14 yrs, and while never a day goes by where she doesn't enter my thoughts; I don't normally loose control and cry so hard that I actually moan in between the hiccups.

Of course I am certain there is much more behind all that release, other than missing my mom. Sometimes when life just gets so hard and painful, I just want so bad to hear her voice.

Thanks mom, I needed that. Happy Mother's Day....I love you so much.

I hope everyone who still has a mother here with them, tells them and shows them how much they mean to you. I still tell my mom wherever she is; and the best thing I can do for her is to try to live a good and happy life.

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webwriter
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Post by webwriter » Sun May 09, 2004 3:14 am

Hey, you've got company right here. My mom's gone for 18 years; she died on Valentine's Day. Since that time, I've gone to Mass and said prayers for her. But that doesn't mean that I don't remember her on Mother's Day or during other times of the year as well --- or that the tears ever stopped falling. What made her passing so tragic for me was that she never had a chance to enjoy life; she was always cooking, cleaning, and taking care of us. She also knew how badly I wanted to go to college and gave me the five dollars I needed to pay the application fee.

Anyhow, if it is any consolation, just know that even if your mom and mine are not here physically, they are with us in spirit. This is similar to a loved one walking into the next room; he or she is always near by.

Lots of hugs. Feel better.

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Post by Guest » Sun May 09, 2004 9:21 pm

Thanks webwriter. I know my mom is with me, as is yours. I do feel better as that was such a good purging cry fest. Sometimes when you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders; a talk with mom, even if it means tears always makes me feel better. It's good to let it go sometimes. The release cleanses and lightens my soul.

I appreciate your kind words.

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naynay
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Post by naynay » Sun May 09, 2004 9:23 pm

oops there I go again, forgetting to log in! I better check that automatic login box again!

nay

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webwriter
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Post by webwriter » Tue May 11, 2004 4:26 pm

That is so true, Naynay. Every so often, I look at my mom's wedding photograph. She looked so radiant and happy! For all I know, she has found happiness and peace, as well as better health, on the other side, and I share her happiness. I am only saddened by what she had to put up with and live with on the physical plane and that is the time the waterworks start and I wind up sobbing hysterically. She was probably watching, distressed at seeing my grief after all of these years. But I can't help it. I try to remember to pray for her instead and that makes me feel a little better.

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