mo' stuff

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maico886
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mo' stuff

Post by maico886 » Thu May 20, 2004 6:32 pm

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?' -- Larry Miller

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them? -- Marilyn Pittman

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family? -- Robin Williams

A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of herself and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution?? I sent them to her dad. -- Christopher Case

My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said,'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.' -- Paula Poundstone

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. -- Conan O'Brien

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in?I think that's how dogs spend their lives. -- Sue Murphy

The statistics on sanity are that 1 out of every 4 Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your 3 best friends. If they'reokay, then it's you. -- Rita Mae Brown

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. -- Jerry Seinfeld

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.' -- Jerry Seinfeld

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner. -- Lynda Montgomery

"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.' -- Richard Jeni

In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower? -- Warren Hutcherson

Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player. -- Marsha Warfield

I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners. -- Jeff Stilson

Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? -- George Carlin

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking 5 miles A day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. -- Ellen DeGeneres

I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead. -- Sue Kolinsky

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. -- Carol Leifer

The 2nd day of a diet is always easier than the 1st. By the 2nd day you're off it. -- Jackie Gleason

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. -- Dave Edison

Don't spend $2 to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents. -- William Coronel

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. -- Oscar Wilde

Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress ... But I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait. -- A. Whitney Brown

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches. -- Jim Carrey

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webwriter
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Post by webwriter » Fri May 21, 2004 5:14 am

Here's another good one: "Money is important, but I don't want to spend my whole life working for it." Robert Kyosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad and Who Took My Money?

altyfc
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Post by altyfc » Sun May 23, 2004 7:12 am

Also...

A budget tells us what we can't afford, but it doesn't keep us from buying it. (William Feather)

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webwriter
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Post by webwriter » Sun May 23, 2004 8:01 am

You ARE a psychic! I just heard today that my brother bought a 40,000 yellow Humvee. He also has a big mortgage on his $300,000 home. This is the guy who is always crying poverty. Now I know who to cross off my will.

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Mauveduh
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Post by Mauveduh » Sun May 23, 2004 9:32 pm

I know so many people who are heavily in debt to their credit cards.

I'm not exempt here but try to keep it under control. My last vacation to HI went on my card though and I'm still paying that off.

We are a get-it-now, pay later society but it comes back to get ya' in the end.

If I tell my son we don't have the money, he says to put it on the card. If I say no, he says to write a check. I try to tell him that it's all the same. You've still got to pay but he just doesn't seem to get it. I'm not sure that any of us get it.
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webwriter
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Post by webwriter » Mon May 24, 2004 3:54 am

Especially my brother. He still hasn't paid the three thousand dollars that my sister lent him a few years ago, not even a single dime! I suspect that he has hit my father up for money and that my father actually gave him some.

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Post by Armande » Mon May 24, 2004 5:18 am

OMG I cannot believe people actually buy humvees... pfffrrrt
But a lot of people are in debt big time. I don't have any loans really except a bit on my creditcard ($ 1000) and even that bugs me. I only have one card, that helps. haha
Ogle my jewelry, visit Armande's Tarot Online or browse my photography. You needn't get bored... ;)

altyfc
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Post by altyfc » Mon May 24, 2004 5:48 am

I've never seen the point in paying the minimum amount on my credit cards due to the exhorbitant interest rates. I always pay them off in full.

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Mauveduh
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Post by Mauveduh » Mon May 24, 2004 5:18 pm

I always try to pay more than the minimum too. Otherwise, you will never catch up. I just wish I could pay them off in full each month.

The same goes mortgages. Just paying a little more each month increases the equity significantly since the extra goes directly to the principal rather than interest. It can shave years off the loan.
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