Really funny sayings

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patsycloud
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Really funny sayings

Post by patsycloud » Sat Aug 14, 2004 10:14 pm

Why in baseball is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A?

Why are buttons on guys' shirts on a different side than girls' shirts?

If bunnies don't lay eggs why is it on Easter that we hide eggs from the Easter Bunny?

Why are things typed up but written down?

How come u can kill a deer and put it on your wall but its a illegal to keep them as a pet?

Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?



Why do donuts have holes?

Do the different "M&M's"® colors taste different?

Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?

Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille?

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

Why is the abbreviation for pound lb. when l or b isn't in the word pound?

Why do the call the angel of death an angel if all it does is bring pain and suffering?

If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?

If you tell someone they are being judgmental arnt you being judgmental yourself?

How come no matter what color the liquid is the froth is always white?

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane?

Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone cant hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell?

How do they get those boats in those glass bottles?

Why is it called a TV set when theres only one?


If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?




Don't call me a GODDESS, Don't call me a QUEEN, Just call me the cutest PRINCESS you've ever seen!



East to the Sea,West to the Lands,Death to the girl who Touches my Man!


Don't cry over someone who wont cry over u !


Should I smile, Cuz ur my friend, Or cry..Cuz that's all we'll ever be?

Life aint A Garden So Don't Be A Hoe........

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone....an hour to like someone....a day to love someone...but a lifetime to forget someone

"I'm the best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever will be!."

"Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you got".

"Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood".

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'" - arnald

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind".

"Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows". - Helen Keller

here is a story i wrote 4 english its pretty funny...

the life of a pencil

In a store where many people come and shop everyday there is an aisle, Aisle number 14 to be exact. In this aisle there is a hook and on that hook is 1 10-pack package of pencils left. Sunday night of August 15 a mother is rushing up and down the aisles of the local grocery store getting ready for her 3 kids first day of school, the next day. She runs down aisle 12 with her wobbling grocery cart full of school supplies and she grabs the last pack of pencils in the whole store. Patently waiting in that last bag is a young un-recycled pencil named Sammy.

As the mother rushes through her front door her 8 year old boy runs to her and jumps annoyingly in her face screaming and begging for his new school pencils. “Mommy, Mommy I want my pencils! Hurry mommy hurry!” she sits at the kitchen table and sorts out all the supplies evenly for her 3 young boys. In two piles are a backpack a binder a pen and 3 pencils in the last pile it is all the same only it has on extra pencil. That extra is Sammy. Eagerly the 8-year-old runs to the pile with one more pencil. He grabs it all and runs up to his bedroom. He packs it all into his new backpack he puts Sammy in the very front pocket in a little slot especially made for Sammy and his brother and sister pencils. Sammy sat there all night long in that slot in the front pocket of an 8-year-old boys brand new backpack.

The next day early in the morning Sammy hears many chaotic noises and after about an hour he starts his true adventure. Sammy feels as if he’s on a pitch-black roller coaster ride. Sammy hears a loud roaring noise he assumes is a vehicle. He feels the 8-year-old climbing up stairs. He figures out that it is a bus. He didn’t move for about 15 minutes then he realizes the bus has reached its destination. Sammy is very nervous for his first day of school. He thinks to himself, “what if I am not yellow enough or am I sharp enough” after a while he hers the bell and fells the young boy running to class, the boy takes of his backpack and sets it next to his desk. He opens the big pocket and takes out his binder. Next he opened the little pocket in front and pondered for a moment,” pen or pencil?” Sammy sees his hand come down and grab his pink hair. He screams inside with excitement that he was chosen. His sharp tip is put on a fresh new piece of paper and Sammy begins to write. He glides slowly across the paper making interesting words.

For many days Sammy does this same thing over and over again. Eventually he became bald and he was rarely used. One day on the 8-year old boys birthday he is brought home lying there in the pocket no longer in the slot. The backpack gets thrown across the room when he walks through the door and sees many presents for him. Sammy feels the throw and when the backpack lands on the hardwood floor Sammy snaps in half. Never to be used again. Sammy died that day a funeral was never held for the hard working pencil. Sammy’s memories will always be remembered as a terrific pencil and an awesome writer.

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naynay
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Post by naynay » Thu Aug 19, 2004 9:51 pm

Wow...patsycloud!! there are some really good questions and "food for thought." It is so odd how we use the English language, as there are so many inconsistancies, double meanings and just plain stupid interpretations! Your list was quite fun to read and posed some really good things to think about or just laugh about.

I especially liked the profound sayings at the end and then of course your story of Sammy the pencil was very endearing. I couldn't help but wonder how old you were when you wrote that story. Please do not say or tell your age in this forum, as it is not necessary. I was just curious that's all. Thanks for a very charming post.

aiman
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Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2005 8:43 pm

Post by aiman » Sun Aug 28, 2005 8:12 pm

that is interesting reading ! keep it up !

mywork08
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Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 2:08 am

Post by mywork08 » Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:36 pm

ahahhahah

very funny and cool, thanks for post, any more?

lwer403mj

Post by lwer403mj » Sat Apr 28, 2012 1:15 am

cute

ClinicByChoice
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Joined: Tue Jul 14, 2015 8:36 pm

Re: Really funny sayings

Post by ClinicByChoice » Thu Jul 16, 2015 8:53 pm

If you tell someone they are being judgmental arnt you being judgmental yourself? I have been in this situation when i was going to ask my friend about our community people are more judgmental than other, but then thought pop in my mind, does i sound judgmental? From then i never judge anyone in my life even i do sometime but never talk to someone about it.

elliser
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Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2016 1:13 am

Re: Really funny sayings

Post by elliser » Wed Aug 10, 2016 1:28 am

good job guys, thanks for the post

henrybolt
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Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2016 5:49 pm

Re: Really funny sayings

Post by henrybolt » Sat Oct 22, 2016 5:55 pm

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Aaradhya
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Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2018 4:42 am

Re: Really funny sayings

Post by Aaradhya » Tue Jan 09, 2018 4:44 am

Happy to join your community

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