Having a hard time reducing my stress

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Having a hard time reducing my stress

Post by Doman » Sat Dec 11, 2004 6:31 am

Hi everyone :)

I have a common stress problem i would say, but i can't seem to be able to reduce it to a tolerable point. I'm in my first year of university and i am in the middle of my final exams. For example, i had one yesterday. about 3 hours before my exams, the real stress began. I was feeling hot and cold, sleepy, i felt like i was going to vomit and didn't eat because i knew it wouldn't stay in my stomach (sorry if it disgusting) and i wasn't hungry at all. What's funny is im the type of guy that eats often. Anyway, this kind of situation doesn't only happen before an exam, it happens in some social situation but not as worse.(i don't have a social phobia, but something new can put a little stress on my shoulders) it by far worse when i go on a date, which is hard emotionally and doesn't help my situation as i am alone after. i have made some personnal research on the web, so i am gathering info.Anyway, i would like some tips and some personnal stories if it possible, i would appreciate it.


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Post by Mauveduh » Sat Dec 11, 2004 10:46 pm

Hi Doman and Welcome!

I know those feelings of pressure and how they can take on a life of their own. Exam time seems to bring them all to a maximum capacity level. I also found that kind of stress doesn’t end when you get out of college. LOL. You go through it time and time again but college is known for pushing those limits.

I have, what I call meltdowns. I work on a project and I end up stressing myself out trying to do too much so I end up not getting enough rest and I’m running at diminished capacity. After days of working at this level, my patience starts to go as the pressure mounts till it seems too much to deal with. I start having mini panics but don’t have time to stop and deal with them so try to just move forward. After several of these of increasing intensity, I have the flight response and want to run away and leave it behind and tell myself that I can’t do it anymore. That’s my meltdown phase. I quit!!

BUT, I’m too stubborn and driven to quit and after I sit there saying that I can’t do it anymore, I come to terms with it and go back and finish the job if it kills me. So far I’m still alive.

That seems to be a way to release some stress for me, though it probably doesn’t work for everyone. The act of quitting gives me permission to take a break long enough to catch my breath and gather my resources.

So maybe take a nap if you get sleepy or at least take a break now and then. If you can go for a short walk, you may be able to get some distance and regroup. I always hear that exercise is the best thing for stress. If your stomach is upset, could you have a hot drink to calm you down? Some teas, such as chamomile can be soothing.

I have major dread about some social situations too. I try to keep reinforcing the issue of it not being the big deal that I am making it. Will I care about this in a year or even a month? But I’m making myself sick worrying over it now.

Don’t just sit there getting ready for a date. Go get some exercise to take you mind off it. That will also release some tension.

You have probably found many of the published techniques if you have been researching them and you just have to find the ones that work for you.

One of the best is sharing your thoughts about it, either talking or by posting here. I do that all of the time and it has been great therapy for me. It’s like writing, which is another great way to deal with stress. Write your thoughts and it helps to purge those feelings by getting them down on paper.

Are you feeling unprepared for your finals? How are they going and what’s you major?
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.--Mark Twain

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Post by Doman » Sun Dec 12, 2004 12:46 pm


Thanks for replying.

I'm more prepared for the final on subject that i like than those i dont like. For example, i had an average of 85% on my mid-terms, i had 65% on one of my exam, and i had like 99,6% on another. Im feeling unprepared for the subjects i dont like.

They are going pretty good right now, i am actually preparing for my 2 finals tomorrow and i did 2 already. I do not expect a lot of stress tomorrow because i have my french exam (and the course was a real waste of time btw hehe) and my psychology exam (I like that course so my stress will be very low)

I will try for sure tea and exercise for my stress, because my stomach is by far the worse part of my stress, and probably the first reason of my lack of social contacts.

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Post by Mauveduh » Sun Dec 12, 2004 11:14 pm

Sounds familiar. We are more willing to put in time on the things that we enjoy. I loved phychology too. At least you made it through your finals and it sounds like you did ok on most of them.

Now for that social stress. I wonder how the celebrities do it sometimes when they've got a big night like the Oscars. That has got to be a stressful time, getting up in front of their peers and making those speaches. I would be interested how they've learned to cope. I'm sure they have got some good techniques. I will post them if I can find any information on that.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.--Mark Twain

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Post by Doman » Tue Dec 21, 2004 10:10 am


I've had my last exam this morning. I tried the chamomille and Ginkgo Biloba also, it did help, my stomach wasn't all turned around. I've decided to make some change in my personallity to, not drastic change, but some small change that will make me feel better. I'll "turn on" my new personallity at the beggining of next semester, so ill be able to compare the first one and the second. Thanks for the help. Have a merry christmas :)


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10 Tips To Deal With Stress

Post by Mauveduh » Wed Jan 05, 2005 6:50 pm

"10 Tips To Deal With Stress"

Too much pressure, too much to do, to little time? Are the walls
closing in on you?

Your deadline is coming up and you haven't got any ideas. Your
spouse smashed the car. The in-laws are coming for a week. You're
trying to close a big sale over the internet, and your computer crashes.

Stress is constantly with us. What happens to you when you're
under a lot of stress? Your heart races, your breathing gets faster,
your blood circulation and metabolism speeds up. Your muscles tense,
getting you ready to fight or flee. But you don't do either. And it
builds up.

When nothing is done about it, too much stress will lead to; nervous
disorders, headaches, hypertension, heart problems, stroke, death.

How can you tell if you're under too much pressure? It is different
for each individual. Headaches may be a sign, insomnia, restless,
digestive problems, irritable bowel syndrome, constipation and diarrhea,
abdominal pain.

If you look someone straight in the eyes and see white under either
iris or both, that person is under too much stress.

Here are some tips to help you deal with stress.
1) At work, delegate tasks to others. Trust others to get it done.
2) Prioritize tasks. Do what must be done now.
3) Take a break. (Stay away from caffeine & nicotine)
4) Go for a walk or talk to someone.
5) Record your thoughts, or write them down.
6) Exercise.
7) Enjoy yourself with fun activities.
8) Do something totally different, unexpected.
9) Take deep Breathes!!!
10) Get a good laugh.

80% of your worries never occur. If you can do something
about it, get it done. Otherwise, don't let it bother you.
Stress can best be managed by realizing what you can change
about your life and knowing what you can't.

Kathy Thompson, is a writer, speaker, coach with over
25 years of researching nutrition and fitness, and has
the perfect solution for your health and wealth problems.
Or contact Kathy at; healthyu@faceuptoit-youcan.com
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.--Mark Twain

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Post by Mauveduh » Wed Jan 05, 2005 6:53 pm

This one may help with social anxiety.

Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking

When you need to get up and speak do you feel butterflies
in your stomach? Sweaty palms? Dry mouth? Shaking knees
and hands? You are not alone. Fear of public speaking is
No. 1. Death is No.4. So most people would rather get a
root canal and pay their taxes than speak in front of an

Here are a few techniques to help you reduce your
nervousness and present like a pro.

1. Before you begin, drink some tepid water, take a few
deep breaths and visualize your success.

2. The audience wants you to succeed - so just treat them
as your friends and speak in a conversational manner. You
don't use notes when you speak to your friend, so don't use
them now. At the most, you may use some note cards that
include some key words for you to remember.

3. You can relax yourself as well as your audience, if you
remember to SMILE! Everyone is more at ease when they see
your smile. Better yet, find some humor in the situation
and get everyone to laugh, including you.

4. Practice, practice, practice. Getting familiar with
your material by speaking often This really helps reduce
your tension.

5. Find ways to speak - volunteer as a committee chair,
lead a meeting, attend networking meetings so you can
introduce yourself often and get comfortable hearing the
sound of your voice and words.

6. Then ask yourself the big question: "What's the worst
thing that could happen? No, you won't faint, or , forget
what you plan to say. Remember when you speak to any
audience, it is about them, not you. So be present with
them as you would when speaking to your friend.

7. A great way to calm yourself is to arrive early and greet
people as they enter the room. This is a way to relax
yourself and encourage others to feel friendly towards you
before you even start your speech.

8. Think about what you are going to wear. Choose clothing
that makes you look good and feel good. Most people
delineate their thoughts visually and your audience will
form an opinion about you after looking at you for 30 seconds.
My mother always encouraged me to "dress up" before taking a
final exam - she said, "If you want a high grade, then look
the part."

9. If you really want to be a masterful speaker, hire a
speech coach . . . like me. No serious athlete or
professional speaker would get very far without a coach.

10. And, finally, focus on having fun President
Theodore Roosevelt said, "If you can't find a way to make
public speaking fun, why do it?"

Sandra Schrift 13 year speaker bureau owner and now career
coach to emerging and veteran public speakers who want to
"grow" a profitable speaking business. I also work with
business professionals and organizations who want to
master their presentations.
Join my free bi-weekly Monday Morning Mindfulness ezine
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.--Mark Twain

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Post by Adedup10 » Sun Dec 10, 2006 11:00 pm

Edited SPAM

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great post, deserves to be a sticky

Post by keci680bfu » Wed Nov 23, 2011 5:28 am

very helpful source. i like it.

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Post by keith101 » Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:39 am

If things tend to go with wrong timings then all these things occur. It's always good to keep your time managed properly whether what stress or load you have, because these small things effect a lot.

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Post by henrywronger » Tue Jul 10, 2012 8:44 am

Stress is really bad for all to reducing more energy level and they fall in health problems. At this time so many people have no time for work out or exercise so they really increase more stress and they really bad for your health.

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Post by tobymagmire » Tue Jul 17, 2012 7:23 am

First of all if you have any bad habits like smoking or drinking than leave it as early as possible. After that do exercise regularly and specially the morning walk will give you the best and early results.

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Re: Having a hard time reducing my stress

Post by Johntan » Sun Dec 01, 2013 7:17 pm

I remember those pre exam jitters. I would cram so much information into my head and the stress would block me from remembering it when I needed it. I wouldn't sleep all night before. I still do it but getting better at putting things into perspective.

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Re: Having a hard time reducing my stress

Post by bluej244 » Wed Aug 13, 2014 7:46 pm

You should relax a little. Relaxing doesn't just mean sleeping; you can also relax just by sitting and thinking nothing. For a minute, give yourself a break. Stop thinking about the exams or anything that bothers you. Try to meditate. You'll surely feel great afterwards. This is what I do after a long busy day.
I am doing great in balancing work and family.

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Re: Having a hard time reducing my stress

Post by paulirish » Sun Jul 03, 2016 8:17 am

Hello guys! As all of you I had my issues with stress but today it`s all history.

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